Rode my bike to work today. Just trying to show that I care about the environment/mother earth/god.
When I picked out my bike, I struggled with what type to buy. “Which type will make me seem relevant and alternative, without breaking my parents budget?” I wondered. I saw several options:
1. Mountain Bike
A mountain bike seemed like a good option. They’re pretty cheap. They have sweet shocks and tons of gears, figure I could do some “sweet jumps” on campus to score points with ladies/prove my superiority over other guys. They’re pretty comfortable. They’re not very alternative though. Seems like every “frat douche” rides one around campus. Not really looking to be lumped in with that class.
2. BMX Bike
A BMX bike was another good option. Not sure what “BMX” stands for. Maybe “bullemix.” Not sure what kind of statement a BMX bike would make about me. They’re small and light, but also seem to be ridden by “little white punks” who wear affliction tees and hats backwards. Not sure if I want to be lumped in that category either.
3. Vintage Cruiser Bike
A Vintage Cruiser sounded like a good idea. Go to thrift stores, avoid “poor” people and grab a bike. This would be good for several reasons. Definitely different that most people’s bikes. Also, “ironic” since I’m a suburban white kid riding a “piece of shit” but in a cool way. Feel like this is a good way to stamp yourself with an alternative stamp. But, they are “heavy as shit”, and I couldn’t carry my bike into coffee shops/whole foods/urban outfitters to prove how much I love the earth.
4. Fixed Gear Bike
On paper, this sounds like the best option. Light, easy to ride. Won’t break every 18 seconds. Also, super customizable, so I can show my love for “mother earth” in a unique and alternative way. However, it seems like “effing hipsters” have taken over the “fixie” bike scene. If I rode one, I’d probably have to start shopping at Whole Foods, become a Vegan, buy skinny American Apparel jeans and drink PBR, which is shit.
Such a tough decision. Just want to be able to help the earth in a public way, so that everyone will see it.
Are bikes the ultimate alternative transportation?
Are mountain bikes for “frat douches?”
If I ride a fixie will I turn into an “effing hipster?”
Should I just ride the bus?
Parisian Goldfish – Flying Lotus
hannah, please – Drug Rug
Change Of Heart – El Perro Del Mar
Section 12 (Hold Me Now) – The Polyphonic Spree Together We’re Heavy Alternative & Punk
Rill Rill – Sleigh Bells
Sir Greendown – Janelle Monáe
Streetwork – Club of the Sons
Gone To Sea – A Classic Education
Sea Talk – Zola Jesus
Lately (Deuxième) – Memoryhouse
En Esta Noche – Las Mosquitas
I’ll Build You A Fire – Seabear
The Ego’s Last Stand – The Flaming Lips
Silas the Magic Car – Mew
Streets of Fire – The New Pornographers
Never Follow Suit – The Radio Dept.
A Summer Song – Chad & Jeremy
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
You – Gold Panda
I Can’t Go For That – Hall & Oates
In My Dreams – Eels
Loved-Up – Korallreven
Ooh La La – The Faces
Watch The Glow – Museum of Bellas Artes
Psychic Chasms (BRAHMS Remix) – Neon Indian
All Out Of Tune – Real Estate
These Days – Nico
We Are Young – The Shaky Hands
Sandstone – Tamaryn
Inspiration Information – Shuggie Otis
10. It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World – James Brown
9. Forget – Twin Shadow
8. Running Out Of You – Keep Shelly in Athens
7. Pretend The Devil Isn’t Real – Memory Tapes
6. Depletion – No Age
5. A Place We Like – Hooray For Earth vs. Twin Shadow
4. Always On My Mind – Reading Rainbow
3. Patterns On The Wall (Feat. Andrew W.K.) – Fang Island
2. Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
1. All My Friends – LCD Soundsystem